I do believe that it isn’t quite fair,
That pens must have caps and nobody cares,
That some may instead want to wear
Hats or beanies or even sombreros,
But you just jam caps onto their brows.
I don’t believe it’s right,
To force our opinions onto others,
So maybe we should just let them choose,
And no longer subject them to this abuse.
Or else they may cause a colossal riot,
We’d best leave them be before they try it.
Don’t you think it would be cool,
If pens wore fedoras and we took them to school?
“Mine’s got a bowler”, a student would say,
“Well I’ve got one with a fez, so in your face!”
I think by now we can reach the conclusion,
That we should put an end to this delusion,
Let the pens develop their own fashion sense,
So they need not take any more offense,
At our long-standing bias towards caps,
Let us grant them deerstalkers and berets and shower them with claps!