The lunatic sat on the roof of his house, bewildered at the sight of the herculean man coming his way. Both suffered from strange diseases, especially the herculean man, Xavier Black. The lunatic, Steve Walker, was an insomniac and so it was no surprise that he was up on the roof at this time of the night, staring at the stars (which sometimes helped him go to sleep). Why was Steve a lunatic? This was because he kept forgetting obvious things and had anger management problems. His being a lunatic would also explain why he hadn’t ever spoken or seen his neighbor Xavier Black. Xavier suffered from anatidaephobia, the fear that somewhere a duck is always watching you.
Xavier also thought that if he met outsiders or people who he did not know, they would think of him as mad. Hence, he kept to himself in his large house, never exiting.
Steve had been confounded and perplexed at the sight of Xavier, as he had looked petrifying with his monocular face looking around for something he never seemed to be able to find. Now, as Xavier saw Steve he started to viciously come his way. In addition to being bewildered, confounded and perplexed, Steve also stared at Xavier, mesmerised. Who was this blithering fool and how did he end up on his roof?
Xavier changed his direction but kept walking around on Steve’s roof and by the time Steve had worked up the courage to ask him who he was, miraculously, Steve had fallen asleep! He had noticed he was getting drowsy but for Steve, getting even half an hour of sleep was heaven. He felt stupendous.
For the next few nights, Steve stayed in his house, trying to get some rest and sleep. This worked for the first few days but later he kept wondering what that man was looking for.
Meanwhile, Xavier roamed the roof every night, unable to sleep because he kept feeling a disturbing sensation that a duck was watching his each and every single movement. Every second of the day he was extremely spooked out because of a poor little duck that didn’t even exist. On his roof, he looked for ducks and his search somehow always led him to his anti-social neighbor, Steve Walker’s roof. WHERE WAS THE DUCK?
The night when Xavier first saw Steve on the roof, Xavier saw him carrying a little rubber duck that used to help Steve sleep when he was younger. He had started to walk towards Steve but seeing the mix of emotions on his face, he changed direction and looked for any real ducks about. When Steve fell asleep, Xavier took the rubber duck and had a long conversation with it though he was either only speaking flumadiddle to himself or if it was all his imagination.
When Steve thought it was safe enough to return to the roof as it helped him sleep if he was staring at the stars, he saw the man again. Xavier walked up to him, holding a gun under his arm while Steve stared, his face white as paint.
Xavier pulled out his gun and in his signature way of greeting people, shot it into the sky.
Why the gun? Xavier would have rather made people think he was stupendous, and easily be able to make conversation with them, and then realize he actually wasn’t, than mumbling and stammering, not quite figuring out what to say to the other person. Also, it was only a fireworks gun which was extremely harmless.
“Hello” he said “I’m Xavier. Xavier Black.”
Steve stared up into the sky, awestruck, and saw fireworks! He gave him a short wave and promptly, fainted.